Gug's House

 Notice I didn't use the whole guy here.  I'm not sure, but there may be such a thing as too much scotch bonnet.
 Dominicance that up while not getting any in your eyes.
 Now you're ready to put that in a pot with some margarine or, if you're some kind of culinary snob, butter!
 If you're doing it right, it'll start to melt and you can add everything you've cut up with probably a knife!
 This is going to smell pretty good, if and when I do so say so myself.
 Here's the Marsala part.  Put some cooking wine in there.  (Not too much, or people who don't know about how cooking wine works will think you're trying to get them drunk!)
 Don't forget to crack an egg on that.  When people say the secret ingredient is love, they usually mean an egg.  (If it's something raw, watch out!)
 When it starts to look like this, it's "ready for spaghetti."  (-Italian proverb)
 I used leftover spaghetti BUT I KNOW HOW TO COOK MY OWN SPAGHETTI OKAY GUYS
 Here's where it gets downright fancy.  Spray a pan and hollow out two halves of a bell pepper.  I accidentally got some margarine on mine.
 Now fill them up with all that junk that was in the pot!
 Crumble some feta cheese on top!  These two will be the belle peppers of the ball!
 Now set the oven for 350° Fahrenheit (175° Celsius/ 448° Kelvin) and put them in for 10-15 minutes depending on how your oven works.  Keep an eye on it, I guess I'm saying.
 Zowie!  These father-mockers are perfect!
 Now, all you have to do is spruce up the peppery shell by applying some cake frosting!

Labels: delicious recipes

"Now that Ira's older sister is getting married, who will take her to the bathroom after ten p.m. and sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" outside the bathroom door in order to protect her from the beautiful, androgynous, child-eating clown? Will marrying a closeted gay man help?"

I am doing a study to help in our judicial system. Your answers will be used to form a guideline that will be applied in real cases. Please state your opinion of the depravity of someone who commits an act with the following intent by responding with the answer "especially depraved," "somewhat depraved," or "not at all depraved."

INTENT: to traumatize a victim
examples:
-committing a violent crime against a family member of a child in front of that child
-physical torture
-bringing someone to the brink of death -putting a dead bug in someone's wallet
-offering pancakes without intent to give said pancakes -defiling a corpse of one's loved-one
-hugging everyone in a room except for one person

Please keep in mind that you are answering for the Intent only and that your answer will apply to all examples.

A good Paranormal Activity trailer would have a bunch of footage of people in the audience being scared, and then more footage of more audience members being scared, and then a big crowd of people in the audience getting scared and like a bunch of them are covering their faces with their hands in this group and they're like out of their minds terrified for about a minute straight, but the camera zooms in slowly and there's this guy in the crowd and he's just sitting there and as it gets in closer you see he has this grin on his face and it gets in closer and you can see his eyes shining from the night vision but then the lights turn on and you can hear the people shout out because they're surprised that the lights turn on, but he's still just sitting there grinning enthralled in the movie and you can see in his eyes that he wants everyone in the movie to die and then everyone in the audience to die and then everyone in the world to die over and over and then the title of the movie.

Labels: movie trailers, Paranormal Activity

 and cut it into slices of mushroom!
 Then take some leftover chicken
 and cut it into smaller pieces.
 Here's some ham!
 You can cut it into strips too!   Knives, am I right?
 Here's the things plus some carrots.
Add all that stuff from the cutting board into that pot now.
  Crack an egg over it to help make it more eggy.
 Maybe you can add 2 cups of mashed potato like I did!
Of course you're going to need a bit of red pepper on that!  Next is where it starts to get a little tricky!  It might get a little messy, but butter one side of a tortilla with some more butter or margarine.
  Butter the other side with peanut-style butter or margarine.  I used half jif and half natural peanut butter, because we've gotta get rid of this gross natural-style peanut butter one way or another, you know?

Put a bunch of rice on there.  That's to make it more filling.  Now add a slice of Havarti cheese.  Yours will probably look better because your slice probably won't stick to the other slices and get all torn up, but if it does, don't worry.
 Remember the pot of nice things we heated up with butter or margarine earlier?  This is the most exciting part, because you get to pour that into your waiting, equally excited, tortilla!
 Once it's heated up really well, fold it in half and remove it.  It will look like this handsome fella:


Finally, for presentation and flavor, drizzle with salsa, raisins and gummy worms.

Labels: delicious recipes

I like to imagine somebody protesting with Occupy Wall Street all day and sticking it to the rich folks and then going home and cheering as baseball players spray each other with champagne on TV.