Gug's House

I came up with this cool idea for if I was in the mob and there was this guy I didn't like and I wanted him or her to be dead. I would have a big contest for all the people I knew and I would make sure this guy enters. See, the contest is going to be rigged. The prize would be a lifetime supply of something cool, like Mexican pizza. I'm pretty sure mob guys like authentic Mexican Pizza. Or maybe Ding Dongs. Anyway, the prize would be a lifetime supply of this thing. Then I would rig the contest so the guy I wanted to be "offed" (killed) would win. And there'd be this big ceremony and everyone in town would show up because I'm this big mob guy and they are freaking terrified of me.  And so I'd declare the winner, and this big truck would pull up and I'd say here's your lifetime supply of Mexican Pizza/Ding Dongs!  And there would be tons of confetti and it would be quite the spectacle.  And then I'd open up this truck so everyone could see, and inside there would be just three of it.  And then this guy would be like, "Oh no, I really screwed up and now I'm going to be killed in three days."  And everyone else would be like "Oh man, that guy must've really screwed up and now he's going to be killed in three days and also I was probably invited here to make sure that I don't help this guy or else I am in deep yogurt too!"  And I would just smile and pretend I was this magnanimous contest host that wasn't about to have a guy killed in three days and inside I'd be thinking "You're going to be a dead guy, you turd!"

Also, my mob would have a boombox that plays that song from The Untouchables where the brass goes "WAAH WAH WAAAAH" all the time.

Labels: dingdongs, mexican pizza, mob ideas, trombone music