Gug's House

"Did you know a girl at one of my churches has had two blockfasts?" -Pepap, referring to a surgery on the center of your head to keep your face from falling out

"Scoot over.  I can play the sprite because I'm on cocaine." -Uncle Mike, offering to accompany me in my performance of 99 Red Balloons for Grandma

"No two are alike, like hair or pukes." -Fictional confirmation student, on faces

"He usually gets in a fight, then mozerellas home" -stranger describing Pat Deering's approach to the nightlife