Thursday, September 13, 2012
Everyone loves lists, but they usually suck (PART 2)
Today I will present a list of the five best kinds of giant robots. And of course, when I say "best" I always mean "my favorite." Also there are probably a lot of qualifiers I've placed as a list-maker to sate my own dumb and mysterious whims. Look forward to a devastating pun.
5 BEST TYPES OF GIANT ROBOTS:
In this list of the five best types of giant robots, I had to rule out kinds of robots that there are less than 3 of (Lightans, Rahxephon, The Megas, Django), even if they were cool. I also had to rule out giant robots that weren't actually robots (Evangelions, probably Cybodies). Finally, I had to rule out giant robots that were not actually cool (Beetleborgs, very few Gunmen are actually cool)
5. GUYMELEFS
Not all Guymelefs are as cool as the best ones, but all of them are still called "Guymelefs" I'm not a big dubbing fan, but there is something that feels so right about watching cool giant robots fight while all these English-speaking voice actors keep saying "Guymelef." (Also, I have yet to find another show in English that has more deeply explored yelling "Lord Van!")
4. ZORDS
Sometimes the sum is greater than all the parts. In fact, if all of the parts are positive, it kind of has to be. I think Billy Cranston would agree, that most of these parts were awesome, and the sums were...Awesum?
3. LFOS
Yes, these robots are built around an organic structure, but as long as that organic component has died, I'm pretty sure it's a robot! Also, some LFOs fly through the sky on giant rocket surfboards!
2. VIRTUAROIDS
I played a ton of Virtual On on the Saturn, and by "Virtual On" I mean "the Virtual On demo on the Sega Screams demo disc. And those robots were awesome. I haven't played any of the games since then, but I have spent plenty of time googling to see what they look like AND THEY KEEP GETTING MORE RAD WITH EVERY INCARNATION. Except maybe Fei Yen, who went through some kind of weird robot-puberty, but came out of it for the better. ALSO THIS ONE HAS A GIANT ROBOT WITCH HAT!!!!
1. BIGS
Not all Megadeuses are Bigs. In fact, only three of them were Bigs? But those three robots were some of the most strikingly designed giant robots around. And on top of looking great peering into your 60th story window, they were also like giant, battling Swiss Army Knives. Need to pick up and protect an unconscious person? Secret finger compartment! Driving your car in an emergency? Secret foot garage! Other issues? Propeller hands! Eye beams! Grappling hips! Turret wrists! Chest missiles! Whatever Big Fau had going on! Also I have to point out something I've been thinking about a lot recently:
5 BEST TYPES OF GIANT ROBOTS:
In this list of the five best types of giant robots, I had to rule out kinds of robots that there are less than 3 of (Lightans, Rahxephon, The Megas, Django), even if they were cool. I also had to rule out giant robots that weren't actually robots (Evangelions, probably Cybodies). Finally, I had to rule out giant robots that were not actually cool (Beetleborgs, very few Gunmen are actually cool)
5. GUYMELEFS
Not all Guymelefs are as cool as the best ones, but all of them are still called "Guymelefs" I'm not a big dubbing fan, but there is something that feels so right about watching cool giant robots fight while all these English-speaking voice actors keep saying "Guymelef." (Also, I have yet to find another show in English that has more deeply explored yelling "Lord Van!")
4. ZORDS
Sometimes the sum is greater than all the parts. In fact, if all of the parts are positive, it kind of has to be. I think Billy Cranston would agree, that most of these parts were awesome, and the sums were...Awesum?
3. LFOS
Yes, these robots are built around an organic structure, but as long as that organic component has died, I'm pretty sure it's a robot! Also, some LFOs fly through the sky on giant rocket surfboards!
2. VIRTUAROIDS
I played a ton of Virtual On on the Saturn, and by "Virtual On" I mean "the Virtual On demo on the Sega Screams demo disc. And those robots were awesome. I haven't played any of the games since then, but I have spent plenty of time googling to see what they look like AND THEY KEEP GETTING MORE RAD WITH EVERY INCARNATION. Except maybe Fei Yen, who went through some kind of weird robot-puberty, but came out of it for the better. ALSO THIS ONE HAS A GIANT ROBOT WITCH HAT!!!!
1. BIGS
Not all Megadeuses are Bigs. In fact, only three of them were Bigs? But those three robots were some of the most strikingly designed giant robots around. And on top of looking great peering into your 60th story window, they were also like giant, battling Swiss Army Knives. Need to pick up and protect an unconscious person? Secret finger compartment! Driving your car in an emergency? Secret foot garage! Other issues? Propeller hands! Eye beams! Grappling hips! Turret wrists! Chest missiles! Whatever Big Fau had going on! Also I have to point out something I've been thinking about a lot recently:
These guys bear a weird resemblance! Other than color! I mean look at those foreheads! And this can only lead me to believe there will be a third candidate appearing that looks like this!
Labels: 2012, giant robots, MORE LISTS, ROBORESEMBLANCES
# posted by Gug Lurge @ 10:39 PM 
